10 Charms of being a Hyderabadi

I've spent the two years of my life at the city of Nawabs known as Hyderabad. I've had some long lasting memories here with Hyderabadis and how they are fun, loving and cool. Lets talk about what stands them apart from the rest of the world:

1. Well, to begin with do everything hallu se. (slowly). Yes, its a city but here its a slow life with people telling each other "hallu se chal" (walk slowly), "hallu se khaa" (eat slowly).

2. Sentences of hindi are too short as there are no "hai, hain, hu etc." Hindi is like "Tu dekhi" (You saw?" "mai toh paper mei kuch likhich nahi" (I did not write anything in the exam.)

3. Here , if people get angry you will get to hear words like "Kya houla bnaya muje" (You made me mad".  "Kya baingan bnaya re tu" (You made me a fool).

3. Hyderabadis are really cool people. You will often find them saying "Light le in hindi or light tisko in telugu (meaning  take things lightly, Chill)

4. We have talked too much on the language. Lets talk about the city as such. So, to begin with, amidst the hustle bustle, the pollution in any city, here lies a big lake Hussain Sagar at the heart of the city built by the great Nizam of Hyderabad. The lake is beautiful. My friend tells me it keeps the city cool. The eat street on the sideways and the buddha structure in the middle of the lake are the ambience to vouch for.

5. Awesome resorts and restaurants to go for. Alankrita and Leonia Resorts are the one I've frequented to for meals. Apart from that, city offers some of the exotic restaurants like A La' Liberty, Indigos to mention a few. See my friend's blog: https://foodventurerz.wordpress.com/ and I need not say more.

6. Hyderabadis love biryani. Most of them do. Paradise in Hyderabad is famous for its biryani.

8. Ramoji Film City is another attraction here. Its a place to recollect your movies and serials that were shooted here. Its big and its good for a full day outing.

9. The beauty of Charminar is appeasing to eyes. The market is full of vendors selling accessories , food, juices etc..

9. The love that Hyderabadis have for Telugu movies, songs and their culture is interesting to see. One word against their favourite movie star and they will protect him/her like their family.

10. The best part of this place are its people. Most of the local friends of mine were so caring and loving and they love to invite you for food. Some of them even go out of their way to help others.

The list is not exhaustive. These are those few of the many things that I'm carrying away with me for the rest of my life. If you really want to know, what makes this city so special in its own way, you should visit this place. With a heavy heart, I leave Hyderabad in 3 days. Counting 3,2,1........

11 bitter sweet truths that have stayed with me

Since morning I've been thinking about the writing this article on the sayings of few people who have been part of my life. Their sayings have echoed in my mind since the day they said them. Some of them well, one might have read somewhere but when it was said by that person, it actually meant something deeper. I'm not mentioning their names but one fine day I would. I don't remember the conversation in some cases. But, lets hear to what they said:

1.  "I don't cry often like you to make my tears less valuable. I cry only once."-  a masters friend.

That was said to me on being too emotional about things. Next time, I'm going to think about it before I cry. I hope he'll be happy to hear this!

2.  "A manager's first trait should be to have stability of mind." -my brother

Now this was said to have a calmness effect on me.

3. "Be happy, for you will get nothing less or more than what is destined for you."- my mother

This was to let me know that being in a positive state of mind is more important than getting a good paying job.

4. "I do what I like. I like what I do."- a school friend who has left his career in which he was academically inclined to a career in which he is passionately involved.

The DWYL (the do what you love) syndrome. This quote have been said by many inspirational writers. But, it really doesn't count much unless it comes from a person whom you admire as a person. Well, it was said on being quizzed about his sleeping hours duration and why he sleeps so little?

5.  "You don't live for yourself. You live for others." - my undergrad friend

This was said to me when I told her that I don't keep in touch with most of my friends. It is difficult for me to make a conversation once we've left talking for months.

6.  "All men are selfish."-My English teacher of high school

She just said this in between the class. This saying has stayed with me because at that time, I felt a pain in her eyes while saying this. Now that I've met diverse individuals in my life, I don't beg to differ with this line.

7. "And this (Sky pouring with rain) is called divine intervention. No more class. Go out!"
- the same English teacher

This was said in one of those extra classes that we had in class 12th. It was such a hot weather in May and it started raining. Windows opened on their own, thanks to the cool wind. And, when my teacher said this, the whole class went to the open verandah near the library and got drenched in the rain. That was true liberation!

8. "It is okay to be selfish. Everyone is selfish. But, it is bad to be self-centred."
- one of my school friend

While there is little difference between the word selfish and self centred with both words being used synonymously, the meaning that I interpreted at that time is what matters. Everyone thinks about their personal benefit but only thinking about yourself is something that is really mean.

9. "We can't do something good for others. At least, we mustn't say something wrong."
- my school friend

The conversation was about how selfish people deserve to get bad consequences.

10. "I don't know when you get older whether you remember me or not. But I'll come to your wedding to see you as a bride even if I'm forgotten to be invited."
-One of my aunt in my neighbourhood with whom I stayed when my parents were away for their jobs.

She said this when I was a little child. Ofcourse, at that time I did not understand anything because in childhood, you are not acquainted with the truth that nothing lasts forever.

11. "Ignorance is such a bliss." -my school friend

- I was like "Bang on!"

These people, many of them I don't talk everyday. Many of them, I've talked after years. But, that doesn't mean, I've forgotten them and their saying which had the bitter sweet truths of life. I'm sure these people don't remember what they said. But to whom, they said, it meant a lot.

Freedom you gotta give what you take!

(This article was written on Independence Day 2014. But, as the International Women's Day 2015 passed by, I thought of reposting it here.)

On this occasion of independence day, I ask myself " What does freedom mean to me?" Does it mean doing, talking anything that I like? No, it doesn't. It means doing something within my own boundaries. And, everyone has their own.

For long, women in our country have been deprived of many things, be it the right to take birth, to get educated, to choose a partner of their choice, to give birth to a baby girl and many rights are denied on a day to day basis. Today, our PM Modi has rightly said that when a women goes out of house, she is asked a thousand of questions vis-a-vis a man. What has happened to the society that being a women, we have unnecessary limits set on us? The everyday crimes against women leaves us appalled. I have heard many of my friends say why was I born a women and why doesn't it happen to men right from from their puberty days to their days as a grown up when they witness,hear, feel once or more the eve teasing, the rapes and what not!

While God can't be cursed for making us a women (it is a blessing in fact), men and even women in our world , definitely should be blamed for creating such havocs in our minds. On one hand, on ashtmi or navmi of the Navratri, the little girls are being symbolised as Devis and on the other hand, day after day, we hear of the heinous crimes committed against us. On a personal front also, women do witness one or other men playing Mr. Dominant role in their lives and most of the times, they are their own family members. Now, when they only do not give a chance to lead at least their own lives, how will women come out of their small chambers to speak of any wrong that has happened to them. Be it men or women, the stigma attached to even a small sexual assault is much.

Ours is a regressive society where discrimination has just become a culture, in fact, a habit. This has even led to a war of women against women.Once, while travelling in a train, a women told my friend (a girl) that girls shouldn't laugh that loud. She said nothing to boys. Ours is a collective society and mind you, suggestions come here for free whether you ask them or not. So, once, I was told to tie my hair by a lady to the the surprise of many young girls standing with me in the ladies coach of Delhi Metro. Now, when this is a scene in a cosmopolitan city, I wonder about the dismal stature of our rural and semi-urban areas.

While we call for feminism in our society, this emancipation of women has to be carefully cherished. Being equal, doesn't mean we too become dominant. In the name of equal rights, we should not compete in useless arguments to let men know that we are better. If we are being asked questions about our where abouts and told to be careful and to follow some kind of code of conduct, it is because we are being cared for. It shouldn't be taken as a restriction. Thus, freedom with boundaries should be okay for us.

In our society, men/ women right from their childhood should know about the other gender well. The communication between men and women should be much so as to in built the respect for the other sex. And, for all women, in the end, I would say, never indulge in useless thoughts of "Why me?" Enjoy your womanhood. God has blessed you with a warm and caring nature. So, love it! "Happy Independence Day."

PS: The author on this day of re-publishing this article has moved on from feminism. This is because she feels what we need at present is a level of righteousness as most women in the world are being denied even the basic rights. So, what do you think about it? Please post your comments.

That thing called love.

It all started when two love birds were always together. They enjoyed the same things. They studied the same things. They decided to be at the same places. They acted like they were only one. None would ever be seen deviating from what the other person opines even when the opinion is much against the opinions of the majority of the crowd. To the crowd, it appeared that they were selfish. But, I realised that they were just 'in love'. And, I had begun to process my thoughts on that thing called love.

Love starts with attraction and infatuation in most people. Love starts with getting to know your partner and how well you can relate to him/her. Basically, what all people look for is like-mindedness.

However, in this journey to be with those who are similar to you, with same tastes and habits, one forgets that what is needed the most is one's individuality. If being a mother, you can criticise your child that this is wrong and this is right, the same kind of liberty to speak your mind should exist in a relationship with your partner. It should never be what (s)he likes, I should like it. and what I do, (s)he should do it. By this, I do not mean to preach that opposites attract. What I mean is having a stance of your own even when being in love.

Compromise is tolerable only in actions not in the genuine opinion of somebody. Most people will compromise so as to avoid a fight. If words hurt, then silence hurts as well. Communication is very necessary to build up a good relationship.

The individuality and communication part might not happen at all because as they say love is blind. Let love be blind. But, not as much, that his opinion becomes yours and your opinions become his. If there is a clear conversation of your views, its better to get into a mutual consensus of your opinions rather having piled up emotions where you have to hide your views. For, how long can you fake that smile for the sake of your love?

The like-minded is so much immersed in our society that most of the times, a doctor marries a doctor, a civil servant marries another civil servant to mention a few. This is based on the belief that they can understand the demands of their profession better. But till when can you hide the differences that exists in you as a person. Even, your profession cannot help to mask you beyond a limit.

I'm yet to find that special one in my life. And, I don't know till what extend my love may grow up to become blind. However, here, the only point of this article is forget the differences and appreciate the individuality. Differences to an extent can be sorted. Individuality can be accepted. That's how, most relationships last, be it with a partner, friend or a family member. Still, it all starts with like mindedness for most people. Sad!

3 Characters in a Structured Set-Up

NOTICE: This article is written in good humour.

I've been thinking about this article for so long. So, here I am putting across my lame thoughts.

We all have been living in some structured set-up for some time or the other, living our lives with people, slogging our heads into books, into work, into projects and what not. In a structured set up, we have come across so many people, some are like minded and most are not. Inside the closed doors of our lives, we often joke about the uniqueness of all these characters we come across in our lives.

Wait! This is no scoopwhoop but to make matters simple in this diversified world, I've divided people into three categories:-

1.) The Sycophants:-

These are the ones who just love the system. They love their teachers and their bosses. But wait! behind the doors, its a different story! However, they believe that they can get better things like marks and increments only by waging their tails behind the ones with authority. They are popularly referred  with "Ye tohh chhatate hai" (they lick) by the other categories. (No, I'm no Chetan Bhagat! But there was no better way to say these things. True expressions are represented best in local language :P )

2.) The Indifferent:-

These people are the ones who have no opinions at all. They are simply the "simple people". Basically, they are the Dementors of Harry Potter sans feelings, sans emotions and for other category people, they are sans minds too. Often, you will find them grumbling about the system. However, when they have the opportunity to put forth their opinions, they refuse to open their mouth. They prefer to keep themselves busy and happier with stuff they like and don't have time for "trivial" matters.

3.) The Rebels:-

Better referred with lines like "Humesha netagiri krne ki kya zarurat hai?" (Why do these people have to behave like politicians?) by other categories. These are the people who have more questions than faith on the system, on the people and everything. It isn't that they ask for perfections but a level of righteousness. They are often the ones who suffer more loses than gains by their acts. Therefore, slowly, these people move to the category of the indifferent people. However, their essential nature is still the same and time to time, it gets provoked.

These categories are often seen fighting against each other sometimes out on open and sometimes behind closed doors. One can be typecast in any of these three categories. But, one must realise that there is no real fight, only a conflict of interest and a conflict of thought. It is best to resolve the issues out in open. In the end, the best one is the one who behaves like her/his own self. So, be you!

God, a Boundation or a Belief?

As a child, I used to dislike people who were biased. I had seen some bias at the hands of my school teachers. And I don't know if the teachers were genuine. I've never indulged in sycophancy. Well, it doesn't naturally come into my behavior.

Suddenly, now all grown up, one day, I realised, I've lived on a thought of foolishness. When I see beggars, when I see bad things happening to people not doing anything wrong, just at the wrong place or even otherwise owing to circumstances, my thought is that even God is biased. I have never questioned on the existence of God. Believe me, I love God for what I have and how "beautiful" the world is. And I will never question its existence. Some say, it is karma that leads you to what situations you're in. But would I ever be able to know what wrong I did in this or previous life? Then, how fair is it when I don't know mystery behind my own soul?

Religion at most places is decided at your birth. That decides to the "types" of God you may have. I believe (and many do) that God is one. It is a power that is making even a leaf fall from the tree. But because the society at large is praying, even if I pray in my mind, I should visit the temple, this is told. Now, here, it becomes a boundation. And even accepting a religeon from your birth is another boundation.

My trust in God is firm. It is in every creature I believe. But I don't feel everyone is good. So, how can God be all positive and without mistakes if it resides in its creations who are us. I believe more on the messenger of God, the modern day gurus.  The busy modern day doesn't make me calm and at times lonely. They help you think positive and make you feel that you are not alone.

God is certainly a belief for me. But, if you ask me as to whether I learned about the idea on my own, then I would say, I read stories sometimes told by my family and sometimes by reading books. I went to temple. During childhood, I did not think much. The idea of God was given to me. I could believe myself more but I believed in my God at some instances.

These thoughts that I share on God would be there to continue. I've seen some people becoming religious all of a sudden in life. These people accept whatever little good they have and are grateful to the creator. Waiting for a change to see in me. Waiting for a miracle like always.
Love God.

Nani

"Walking hand in hand with me was my Nani (that's how I called my granny), dropping me, my brother and my mother to the bus stop nearest to her place."
"Making chandan base at the temple, offering prayers to the almighty, talking to the priest."
"Taking care of my mother and me and so many times, travelling so far to our place just to look after us."
 I remember my Nani quite often as I walk past the same places again and even otherwise in my memory. I'm very grateful to her that she was the one who loved my mother the most among anyone can ever try to.
                       
                       Now, I will be telling my own personal reminiscences with her. I was a quiet child and I strike a chord with my Nani when most of cousins didn't (haha! all you brothers and sisters, now don't be jealous!). I asked my mother "What's her favorite dish from Nani?" She said "Curry Rice". The next time I visited her, I demanded it. And she cooked it! The joy of eating it stills brings happiness on my face.
                     
                        My mother was scared to get my ears pierced. I demanded it again ( ....Well, I can be very demanding! :D). My Nani came along with me and we got it done together. And from next morning to many a days, while I was dozing off, she was applying haldi to it so that my ear doesn't hurt much and remains soft. (Aah! This is a lifelong memory attached with my ears.).
                     
                        She treated me with a " Bar One" chocolate each day when I improved on my health as she came to look after me. I eat it even today with the same delight of that memory.
           
                     My granny had artificial teeth which she took out before sleeping. She once, asked me "Why don't you sleep?" Inquisitive in nature (by my very birth.. now I realise! :D), I told her "I want to see how you pluck it out?". My Nani burst out laughing. That's, one of the friendly comedy scenes I share with her.  I was embarrassed though at that time. Even now, sometimes, I wonder about the sadness of that in-depth laughter. But I'm glad the episode happened for me to have another memory of her.

                    

                       Granny could be my grand mom too. For she many a times, got angry with me and told me to behave well, not be stubborn, etc. And she was right in her way totally.

                        

                         She peeled off pomegranate whenever we visited her and telling us to eat (..Now you come into picture all my brothers and sisters!). She was all ears to all happy news, problems of all her relatives and us, the little kids. She was never short of putting forth her opinions and an optimistic endeavor. 

Today on this very auspicious occasion of Rakshabandhan where there might be your empty space but never an empty memory, Nani, I wish to say to you "I love you and I miss you!".