It all started when two love birds were always together. They enjoyed the same things. They studied the same things. They decided to be at the same places. They acted like they were only one. None would ever be seen deviating from what the other person opines even when the opinion is much against the opinions of the majority of the crowd. To the crowd, it appeared that they were selfish. But, I realised that they were just 'in love'. And, I had begun to process my thoughts on that thing called love.
Love starts with attraction and infatuation in most people. Love starts with getting to know your partner and how well you can relate to him/her. Basically, what all people look for is like-mindedness.
However, in this journey to be with those who are similar to you, with same tastes and habits, one forgets that what is needed the most is one's individuality. If being a mother, you can criticise your child that this is wrong and this is right, the same kind of liberty to speak your mind should exist in a relationship with your partner. It should never be what (s)he likes, I should like it. and what I do, (s)he should do it. By this, I do not mean to preach that opposites attract. What I mean is having a stance of your own even when being in love.
Compromise is tolerable only in actions not in the genuine opinion of somebody. Most people will compromise so as to avoid a fight. If words hurt, then silence hurts as well. Communication is very necessary to build up a good relationship.
The individuality and communication part might not happen at all because as they say love is blind. Let love be blind. But, not as much, that his opinion becomes yours and your opinions become his. If there is a clear conversation of your views, its better to get into a mutual consensus of your opinions rather having piled up emotions where you have to hide your views. For, how long can you fake that smile for the sake of your love?
The like-minded is so much immersed in our society that most of the times, a doctor marries a doctor, a civil servant marries another civil servant to mention a few. This is based on the belief that they can understand the demands of their profession better. But till when can you hide the differences that exists in you as a person. Even, your profession cannot help to mask you beyond a limit.
I'm yet to find that special one in my life. And, I don't know till what extend my love may grow up to become blind. However, here, the only point of this article is forget the differences and appreciate the individuality. Differences to an extent can be sorted. Individuality can be accepted. That's how, most relationships last, be it with a partner, friend or a family member. Still, it all starts with like mindedness for most people. Sad!
Love starts with attraction and infatuation in most people. Love starts with getting to know your partner and how well you can relate to him/her. Basically, what all people look for is like-mindedness.
However, in this journey to be with those who are similar to you, with same tastes and habits, one forgets that what is needed the most is one's individuality. If being a mother, you can criticise your child that this is wrong and this is right, the same kind of liberty to speak your mind should exist in a relationship with your partner. It should never be what (s)he likes, I should like it. and what I do, (s)he should do it. By this, I do not mean to preach that opposites attract. What I mean is having a stance of your own even when being in love.
Compromise is tolerable only in actions not in the genuine opinion of somebody. Most people will compromise so as to avoid a fight. If words hurt, then silence hurts as well. Communication is very necessary to build up a good relationship.
The individuality and communication part might not happen at all because as they say love is blind. Let love be blind. But, not as much, that his opinion becomes yours and your opinions become his. If there is a clear conversation of your views, its better to get into a mutual consensus of your opinions rather having piled up emotions where you have to hide your views. For, how long can you fake that smile for the sake of your love?
The like-minded is so much immersed in our society that most of the times, a doctor marries a doctor, a civil servant marries another civil servant to mention a few. This is based on the belief that they can understand the demands of their profession better. But till when can you hide the differences that exists in you as a person. Even, your profession cannot help to mask you beyond a limit.
I'm yet to find that special one in my life. And, I don't know till what extend my love may grow up to become blind. However, here, the only point of this article is forget the differences and appreciate the individuality. Differences to an extent can be sorted. Individuality can be accepted. That's how, most relationships last, be it with a partner, friend or a family member. Still, it all starts with like mindedness for most people. Sad!
I can totally relate to this article. I have friends who have become so blind in love that they have almost vanished from the face of Earth to begin with. They only know of one person's existence now. I can only say that with maturity one learns individuality too.
ReplyDeleteOne needs individuality. For the sake of love, people change their own thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI too have such friends. But, I believe this kind of love where you forget your dear ones doesn't stay for a long time. However, this realisation of losing out everyone in the process of love would be seen only at the right time. Just bless the couples and move on in life. If your friends are meant to be with you, they will catch up themselves.
Anyways, I'm there always. I promise to be there.
Love, Madhurima :)